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O: Have you come by to play with Leon?

What? No. I...

O: That boy and his guard friends have gone to 'save the entire town', as they put it. It's so cute when they get excited about something.

I was just wondering if...

O: Personally, I don't see what all the fuss is about. He puts on his big suit and goes trodding off under the sun every day, and then comes home and complains that it's too hot in there.

Is there someone else I can talk to...?

O: He's a good boy though. I told him 'Young man, if that suit is so hot, why don't you use it as a smoker and smoke me up some sausages?' and wouldn't you know it, he went and did it! Started bringing me big bags of smoked sausages every week. Though sometimes they would be cat hair all over them...

HELLO?!?

O: I'm sorry, sweetie. What do you need?

>>Do I smell...cookies?

O: Why yes you do! Have one! They're shaped like little swords. I was baking them mostly for Leon and the boys, because the guild hall smalls like a locker room. I was hoping the smell of freshly baked cookies would overpower the musk.

Did it work?

O: ...No. Not really. But the cookies did come out nice and substantial. Would you like to help me take them to the guards?

>>Sure. I'd be glad to help. Which guards do you want me to take cookies to?

O: Well, I haven't finished enough for ALL the guards just yet, so perhaps you could just take these to John, Martha, and William for now?

Whoa. These things are heavy! A few of these cookies are going to go a long way...

O: That's a nice thought, dearie. Now hurry, while the cookies are still warm, they seem to get much heavier when cold. John is at North Gate, while Martha is at West Gate and William is down by the South Gate with Clara.

Got it! John at North Gate, Martha at West Gate, and William at the South Gate. See you later!

(at John) Hi there! I've got a present for you!

J: Oh yeah? What've you got?

I've got...

>>A wonderful melt-in-your-mouth cookie extravaganza!

   J: Oh, let me at them! *chew, groffle, scarp*
   You might try to at least chew once every third bite...
   J: Mmrmrph. Thrztf rr orfalmph.
   What's that?
   J: *spits* I said 'Those are awful!' Are you trying to kill me?
   Ummm, no. Not me, anyway. They're from Leon's Mom.

>>A friend of mine baked a few cookies for you hard-working guards!

   J: A friend of yours, eh? Would that friend be a friend of mine?
   I'm sure if it! It's Olivia, Leon's Mom.

>>The heaviest cookies I have EVER carried.

   J: And why would I want to eat cookies whose best descriptive adjective would be 'heavy'?
   Because they'll stick to your ribs? Or they'll keep your feet on the ground? Or you've been feeling light-headed recently?
   J: Har har har. Funny, funny. Seriously, where did they come from?
   Leon's Mom.

J: LEON'S MOM! Great googly moogly! Don't EVER bring me cookies from that woman again. She's the sweetest mother in the world to Leon, but she's a biological hazard in the kitchen. Holeee catz. I'm lucky to be alive.

I...see. Well, I'll just mosey along then.

(at Martha) Leon's mom sends her very best! Cookies for you!

M: Oh. Ummm, I've been working so hard to maintain my figure recently. I don't suppose I really should.

>>Just try one! I'd hate to tell Olivia that you didn't even try *one*.

   M: You would do that? You WOULD do that! Oh no. All right. Give me one. I'll eat it later.
   hehehe. Clever girl. I'd 'eat it later' too.
   M: No really! Of course I'll eat it!
   Mmmm-hmmm...
   M: Oh all right. You win. I'm not going to eat that thing and you know it. Oliva is such a well-meaning woman. It's a shame that she's such as terror when cooking.
   Well, don't worry. I'll never tell. Your secret is safe with (name).
   Thanks, (name). I'd really hate to hurt her feelings.

>> Are you sure? They're still waaaaarm...

   M: Well, okay. Maybe this time she's actually made something nice to eat. Oh...they're heavy!
   Yup. And getting heavier all the time. I think the chocolate chips are black holes or something.
   Perhaps, I should...reconsider.
   Sounds smart. Don't worry, I'll never tell.

>>Wise decision! These things are heavy enough to use as projectiles!

   J: Hey! Now *there's* an idea. Give me a dozen of those things. We'll see how the Animated like them when I check a few in their direction.
   Yeah. If you miss with your throw, the Animated might eat them instead, and then you'll still win!
   J: Lol. Okay, maybe a couple more then. Thanks!
   Have fun!

(at William) Hello there...ummm...Guard?

W: Beep.

Beep, eh?

>>I...see. So you're a penguin?

  W: Beep!
  I'll take that as a yes. Aren't you a bit far from Antarctica?
  W: ...beep.
  Oh sorry. Being that far from home must make you sad. Here, have a cookie.
  W: Beep beep!
  Two for 'no', eh? Okay, are you sure? Leon's mom made them special for you!
  W: BEEP! BEEP!

>>Are you a car? A dog's squeak toy? What?

  W: BEEP BEEP!
  hehehe. Okay. I'm just kidding. You're a penguin. I get it. But why would a guard be a Penguin?
  W: Beep beep beep BEEP beep beepity beep beeper Beepbeepbeep. Beep?
  Ummm...yeah. Right. I got ALL of that. Sure. Yeah. Ummm, want a cookie?
  W: BEEP! BEEP!

>>Oh sorry. I was looking for a guard named William.

  W: BEEP! I *am* William.
  And you're a penguin because...
  W: Well, I *like* penguins. beep beep beepbeepbeep!
  Oh, right. Of course. Silly me! A Town Guard that's a penguin. That's totally normal!
  W: Beep!
  I see. William the Penguin. Well...that's a mightly fine bill you've got there, Bill.
  W: beeeeep...
  I know, I know, hehehe. Okay, Olivia sent me. Care for a cookie?
  W: BEEP! BEEP!

Heh. Okay. I'll try to pawn them off on someone else then. You're pretty wise...for a penguin.

(ending with William) W: beep beep beepity beepity beep

You're doing it again. You know I don't speak 'beep'.

Beep. Platebeep, beeper Olivia. Beep?

Take the plate back to Olivia now that it's empty? I'm worried that I'm starting to understand you, but okay...gotcha, penguin boy.

(back at Olivia)

Oh good! You've delivered all the cookies! Thank you so much! Did the guard enjoy their cookies?

>>Good lord, no! Were you trying to poison them?!?

  O: What? Poison? Why, I never! I mean, okay, maybe I shouldn't have added the silicone filling so they kept their shape, but POISON? That implies I wanted to HURT someone!
  Oops. Maybe I shouldn't have been so blunt...

>>Errr...yes. They seemed very impressed at the...solidity of them all.

>>Absolutely! They can't wait for more!

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